How to Actually Feel Your Feelings

You know, instead of intellectualizing them or trying to fix them or hoping they’ll just go away and leave you alone.

Notice your breathing

Breath is one of the signs that you might be dysregulated and not yet in a space to actually feel your emotions. You need to be in a good enough head space to be able to sit with your emotions and feel them without making things worse. If you’re currently able to move forward, go right ahead. Otherwise, take the time to deal with your overwhelm, dysregulation, or shut down before you proceed.

Give them time and space

You’ll probably want to be alone for this part. If you’re too close to the person or situation that’s causing the emotion, either in time or space, you may not be able to give your feelings the time and attention they need. Once you have room to breathe, let yourself feel the emotion no matter what form it takes. Notice how it feels in your body, the way it shapes your thoughts, and what action it wants you to take. Also notice the ways your mind and body try to step in and shut down or manage the emotion.

Start a conversation

Ask the emotion what it needs from you. Emotions are signals about what’s going right or wrong inside us and around us. Learning to interpret our emotions is an important part of feeling them. These messages give us information about what we really need so we can respond by meeting those needs instead of going along with a knee jerk reaction that might make things worse in the long run.

Want help with feeling your feelings?

Therapy can help. Your therapist can guide you through this process, help you recognize your emotions, and give you insights into the patterns that are keeping you stuck. Interested in a free 15 minute consultation to see how therapy can help? Reach out here.