Word of the Year 2023 Reflections
How my word of the year shaped my 2023
This past year has been very restful in ways I didn’t anticipate.
My word of the year was luxury which for me as a self pres 5 on the Enneagram meant mostly that I’d buy myself new clothes when I needed them (instead of wearing them until they literally fall apart), take myself to the dentist, find shoes that actually fit my weird sized feet, and get rid of the clutter of things I can’t throw away (paper).
Yep, that’s my version of luxury: a clean home with clothes and shoes that fit and routine health care.
In the process, I focused on a number of small things that got in the way of my ability to truly enjoy my life.
The obstacles:
Guilt over not being constantly productive (coupled with that feeling from school that I’m missing something important if I relax)
Anticipatory regret that I can’t possibly get rid of something if there’s any chance I might need it again
Difficulty starting tasks and getting stuck in avoidance cycles
Uncertainty about direction
Hesitation to welcome luxury into my life
Luxury in practice
First, I had to deal with that guilt. It’s lessened since I’ve been out of school for SEVEN years now, but it hasn’t fully gone away yet. I started doing a ritual at the end of my work day to signal that I’m done and can rest. That really helped. I think the biggest shift since leaving school and finishing my internship has been that I don’t have homework or extra things to do after my work day is done.
Then I tackled the anticipatory regret. Things that I truly did need to keep and couldn’t re-buy needed a place to go other than out on a surface. Things I could get rid of, I gave either to my local Buy Nothing group or donated to Goodwill. And yeah, over this past year there were a few things I regretted letting go. But I’ve learned that the regret is easier to take than the frustration of living in a cluttered space.
While it wasn’t perfect, the biggest shift was in doing. Many of the things I wanted to do were easily done. They didn’t take as much time or effort as I’d already spent avoiding them. It was just a matter of setting aside the time and being purposeful, not letting myself be distracted for too long.
I also decided to focus on just one direction. If you’ve been following me for any amount of time, you know that I have many different clinical interests. I love working with people who are anxious, stressed, burned out, grieving, navigating trauma, HSPs, therapists, healthcare workers, and so many more people. But in this current day and age, it’s not good to be a generalist. There are so many therapists out there and I wanted to be found by the people I help really well. So that meant choosing a single direction and digging in. This year, that was somatic therapy.
Finally, I had to process what it means to invite luxury. I had a real hesitation to seem like I was just after profit or like I wanted a plush life more than anything. But that sort of mindset keeps you stuck in a minimal lifestyle (and not in the intentional way). Money wants to be welcomed, and a positive energy toward finance allows it to come and go freely. And luxury is more than just wealth. It’s also a mindset of plenty instead of lack, and I’ve been living in the energy of lack for a long time now.
Energy flows where you direct it
As I tried to sit in the energy of luxury, the main thing I’ve noticed this year is that I feel less burned out. Focusing on things that bring the energy of luxury meant giving time and space to the things that make me feel good from clothes and shoes that fit to routine dental cleanings to my first massage and a nice dinner out.
Relationally, leaning into luxury has meant reconnecting with what feels good in my interactions with others. I don’t need to keep myself connected to people who constantly push my boundaries and leave me feeling worse after talking with them. I can expect my friends and family to look out for me and have my good in mind or I’ll choose to limit my interactions with them.
It also affected how I treated myself. Connecting with my body over this past year has tuned me into the ways I’ve harmed my body by not listening to what it needs and wants. I’ve learned to treat my body with a lot more kindness as I give it comfort, care, and…. exercise. Yeah, that’s a new one for me. I’m one of those people who basically never really did regular exercise since Phys Ed in school. Turns out, my body loves to move! It likes to lift weights and be strong! I also discovered my body wants a whole lot less food than I give it. I’m often satisfied about halfway through my plate, and learning to honor my fullness has been a big thing this year.